how to trace my ip why the fuck not

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why the fuck not

Allow me to be frank at the commencement. You will not like me. The ladies will be envious and the gentlemen will be repelled. You will not like me now and you will like me a good deal less as we go on. Ladies, an announcement: I am up for it, all the time. That is not a boast or an opinion, it is bone hard medical fact. I put it round you know. And you will watch me putting it round and sigh for it. Don't." It is a deal of trouble for you and you are better off watching and drawing your conclusions from a distance than you would be if I got my hands up your petticoats. Gentlemen. Do not despair, I am up for that as well. And the same warning applies. Still your cheesy erections till I have had my say. But later when you shag - and later you will shag, I shall expect it of you and I will know if you have let me down - I wish you to shag with my homuncular image rattling in your gonads. Feel how it was for me, how it is for me and ponder. 'Was that shudder the same shudder she sensed? Did she know something more profound? Or is there some wall of wretchedness that we all batter with our heads at that shining , livelong moment.' That is it. That is my prologue, nothing in rhyme, no protestations of modesty, you were not expecting that I hope. I am Sarah-Louise Johnson and I do not want you to like me.



............................................................................................................
22, Pansexual, polyamorous. London UK

,{Porn
Fat girls
Food
Shoes
Fashion
Rock
Metal
Chubby guys
Beards and body hair
S&M
Cupcakes
Body mods.}
Apr 22 '14

So I happened to stumble upon an article entitled “how to chose fashionable plus size maternity clothes”

I figured I’d give it a read being plus size and hoping to be having babies soon. 

I saw the line “Avoid wearing transparent and translucent clothes as they gives the image of the body contours which should be avoided in case of obese people.”  and “The colors of the clothes that you wear should be dark like black, brown or blue as it makes you look thinner”

"In case your size is more than 24 then in the last months of pregnancy you can wear large sized men’s T-shirts to feel comfortable and it can be worn with stretchable low waist jeans or pants.” 

Nope sorry your too fat for pretty clothes here have a man shirt

the worst part is it had pictures examples of what not to wear 

image



NOPENOPENOPE

fuck off.

if I have a big baby bump I wanna show that thing off, it’ll be all body con dresses and pencil skirts for me.

3 notes Tags: plus size fashion maternity fat shaming body policing

Apr 22 '14

willweeverseetheend:

Woman why is your phone off right now?

The fact that you seem shocked is funny, when is my phone ever even on? XD

2 notes (via willweeverseetheend)

Apr 22 '14

(Source: memewhore)

12,798 notes (via shellmoira & memewhore)

Apr 22 '14

willweeverseetheend replied to your post: why did I even bother making a guest l…

Who’s inviting themselves? Tell them to go fuck themselves you told everyone the deadline. P.s phone me right now x

My mums friend’s daughter asked me if she could bring her girlfriend… I didn’t even invite HER! we’ve sorted it now though. I’ll give you a ring later when I’m not doing 2092480324 things XD

WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME SHAN, WHY DIDN’T YOU WARN ME OF THE HELL THAT IS THE WEEK BEFORE THE BIG DAY!

2 notes Tags: willweeverseetheend

Apr 22 '14

why did I even bother making a guest list

so many people being like “can’t come to your wedding, soz” and so many other people casually inviting themselves, their girlfriend and their cousins cat. 

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO IS OR ISN’T COMING ANY MORE THIS IS DRIVING ME FUCKING UP THE WALL.

there was a deadline for this shit, it was over a month ago but people feel the need to stress me out with this stuff with less than a week to go.

4 notes Tags: Not Carl though Carls cool he has a valid reason everyone else can do one

Apr 22 '14

Favorite. 
This is how I imagine you would feel at this moment, like the rest of the world is frozen and it’s just you two; together for what would seem like forever.


*note to self: remember to ask the photographer to make gifs*

Favorite. 

This is how I imagine you would feel at this moment, like the rest of the world is frozen and it’s just you two; together for what would seem like forever.

*note to self: remember to ask the photographer to make gifs*

(Source: clearlyiloveyou)

32,084 notes (via willweeverseetheend & clearlyiloveyou)

Apr 22 '14
  • Me on my wedding day: you still like me right

976,472 notes (via willweeverseetheend & fackinggcody)

Apr 19 '14

tom-sits-like-a-whore:

reasons to date me

  • no pressure to wear pants in my presence
  • or any clothes at all really
  • but it’s up to you
  • u can be big spoon or little spoon
  • totally your choice
  • i’m always ready to make out
  • aLwaYs
  • also u don’t even have to buy me things just maybe an ice cream cone every once in a while that’s it 
  • i’ll let you lick it though
  • i mean the ice cream cone
  • well not just the ice cream cone

405,830 notes (via cannotremember & tom-sits-like-a-whore)

Apr 19 '14

lordofthewincest:

I’ve been following some of you so long I’m so attached to you I don’t even care what you post anymore I just enjoy your presence and personality thanks for being so rad even though I don’t talk to a lot of you yeah this post just got 10 times creepier ok bye

110,509 notes (via martwizzle & lordofthewincest)

Apr 19 '14

petertchaikowsky:

nicolejanelle:

This is one of my favorite little comics on here.

Wow, this is exactly how I feel about life.

(Source: leseanthomas)

251,546 notes (via part2of3 & leseanthomas)